The afterglow of fire

My mind records and catalogues emotions: levels of hormones, psychological states, I don’t quite know what it is. But when something triggers one of these relapses I can actually feel my brain pattern change and I begin to feel exactly what I did in my memories. I can access parts that make me laugh or cry, that make me feel whole or empty, or parts that make me feel the complete range of human emotion. This may in fact be why I don’t keep photo albums, why I have no photographs up in my home. In my head lies a record infinitely superior.

Early this morning in my dream I figured something out, came to some stark realization or something. All of my disbeliefs, doubts, worries, and fears just disappeared and I saw self actualization, I guess it was. And I woke up an instant later, and it disappeared. I sat up in bed in the blanketing dark for an hour trying to find it again, the realization that led me to stumble upon my goal. But it seems like it was a butterfly spontaneously combusting in some brilliant flash that ripped through my dreams and my mind, only to leave a cauterized scar.